I find myself in an amazing world, living an amazing life, with amazing possibilities.
I have an amazing home, amazing kids and an amazing husband.
All perfect then? Hmmm, not really…
I am in a situation that isn’t great. The odd person who makes life difficult. Makes me feel bad. Often actually.
I’m not sleeping very well, 4 hours last night and about the same the night before.
All because of this situation and the odd person.
I really love metaphors, I use them all the time, in fact, sometimes I use more than one (I’m trying to learn to keep them to a minimum!).
I heard a great one the other day from my friend Emily. She was talking about her Mums latest diet and how if she gives into temptation once she gives up and thinks “That’s it, I might as well just be bad all day, I’ve messed up, why continue blah, blah, blah” – you know the sort of thing. Emilys metaphor for her Mum was; Imagine you have a collection of beautiful assorted porcelain tea cups and you drop one and it smashes, would you then just smash all the rest!”?
Another one I heard in some training or other was; If you watched a really, really bad film would you sit all the way through it, and then watch it again, and again hundreds of times?
Obviously the answer to both is “NO, of COURSE not!”
But we do just that, well, I know I do! We replay things over and over in our minds. Every time we replay them we re-feel the hurt, anger, sadness, pain, injustice. So really aren’t we hurting, angering, saddening ourselves?
We spend time (waste time) hating the person who “did that to us’ but they only did it once (or lots of things once maybe) and we perpetuate it. They may not be a nice person but it is US who keep beating ourselves with their stick. And so we get stuck. Tired. Depleted. Disempowered. Disenchanted. This can leave us unable to deal with even small set backs (you know like spilt milk, or someone nipping into the car parking space we were waiting for) and unable to enjoy all the amazing stuff because we are so over come with the ongoing replays of bad things that have happened. Often things that happened days, weeks, months or even years ago! And if they are still happening we are multiplying them so we are juggling lots of bad things not just dealing with the one in hand.
Imagine playing a song you love but at the same time you have three or four other tunes that you really don’t like at all playing – would you really enjoy the tune you love? Would the others playing at the same time take the joy out of it? Would they spoil it?
I think they would rather (probably make you go a bit mad too – so lets add that into the mix). Funny what we do to ourselves isn’t it.
Time to stop. You can. I can. Just put the stick down, turn the other tunes off, throw out the bad film, put the china in a cupboard.
Vulnerable…..me? Yes, vulnerable to me.
So who’s the odd person?